And how to keep him interested in training
Methods of motivation are very different from the age of children.
- Preschoolers and students in grades 1-2 work better in the game form of learning, as well as the incentive to study/train is more effective through the game.
- Older age – the system of bonuses and incentives comes to the fore.
- Adolescence is the most difficult, and all approaches, including direct argumentation, can be used here equally.
But let’s get back to parental support again. No matter how the child studies, wherever he studies, he must know that you are on his side. Let you not see eye to eye, but show your interest, desire to understand, understand the issue, and not just press with your experience and categoricalness.
Psychologists also advise to clearly distinguish between your desires and the interests of the child. Do not try to compensate for your own shortcomings in childhood at the expense of your children. Otherwise, you know, all this talk “I haven’t become a doctor/musician/a great navigator, let HIM be.”
Your life and desires should not be projected onto the child’s future. You can advise, assist in something, but everyone has their own path.
What can motivate you to study
Praise
Do not forget to praise the child. Sometimes it seems to us that reading a page from “Uncle Stepa” is a sheer trifle. And for a kid who has just learned the letters, mastering even one quatrain is a lot of work. Children really get tired at first: you need to put syllables into words, and understand the meaning, so the optimal time for classes is 10-15 minutes. And then be sure to cheer up the child, note his successes, this will be the best motivation for the next “entry”.
Continue to praise children at an older age. For big and, of course, for small successes. “You’re great, you’re a hero, you’re talented, you’re great at it” – this is just a small part of what a child needs to hear every day. This forms a way of thinking, a feeling of oneself – not a lagging loser, but strong, brave and very capable. Then there is a desire to move forward, learn and win.
Promote
It is necessary to encourage children for their victories, but not necessarily with money. As a bonus, you can organize a trip to the cinema, a fishing trip, or the purchase of a new bicycle. For small successes, please the child with his favorite pie or a new T-shirt.
Some of the parents still choose monetary incentives, but in this case, children’s finances are better controlled. Perhaps it is worth setting a goal for which you need to save up. This is also a good incentive to learn, achieve success and be rewarded for it.
Personal example
It’s no secret that the easiest way to learn any skills is in the natural environment. If there are athletes in the family, then children are quickly drawn into sports. Parents-translators often hear foreign speech in the house, and the child also learns the language without noticing it. There can be a lot of examples.
Your personal example is always a powerful motivator for a child. Parents have authority for their children, and they will be drawn to what we show our children as the norm.
“I want to become strong like my dad. I want to become a doctor like my mother. I’ll be a scientist like my grandfather, but my grandmother is the best at sewing.” Listen to these words. Gradually, with small steps, the child will strive to become the same as his loved ones. And every adult should not stop in his development. Your personal example is the foundation of your children’s future.
Go together to specialized exhibitions, where you know everything and can explain to the child what you have seen. Invite them to your training sessions and competitions. Be sure to invite them to concerts if you perform. Take the boys to the workshop and work on something together. Go on an excursion to your work, combine a business trip with a child’s vacation. There can be many options. All this is a great way to show that any business can be learned if you really want to. And if “dad could do it, then you can too.”
Choosing an activity to your liking
Let’s be honest: what makes you, an adult, the most enthusiastic? Surely you will remember some business that you really like, which you are ready to do for a long time and for free. The same is true for children. Absolute one hundred percent motivation is only for those areas that bring pleasure. What happens, what beckons, calls and pleases every day. It can be sports, drawing, singing, or a passion for archaeology, and your parenting task is to pay attention to it. Even if it seems like a frivolous activity to you, respect the interests of your child. May his success happen thanks to you, and not in spite of it.
Yes, if we are talking about the basic school curriculum, it is difficult to study one subject with gusto and ignore others. Here we are just looking for tricks on how to interest. Or we are looking for a tutor to help.
And in the future, try to choose a specialized class or secondary specialized educational institution instead of the traditional eleven grades.
Many parents (from old memory) are prejudiced against colleges or schools, and there is nothing wrong with this. Such a “step” is not an obstacle to higher education, on the contrary, it expands the child’s opportunities to realize himself in the profession. For example, many restaurateurs first studied to be cooks, and the best dentists are dental technicians by first education.
Learning together
It happens that the learning process is not easy, the same is true in sports or creativity. The child is sent to a music school, and the parents, as they say, are not “boom-boom” in this. What does the “little man” feel? Perplexity. Nothing is clear, there is no one to help at home. There are two ways out of this: either hire an additional teacher, or try to study with the child. At least at first. Learn the basics of playing a musical instrument, run around the school field together, or do the splits with your mother.
Remember yourself, how is it easier for you to start a new business? On your own or with a company? Most often, the answer will be: “Together with someone.” Become this company for the child. Learning together is more effective and more fun.
And the competitive moment works well with elementary school students. Allow the child to “jump” himself in mastering skills, play along. Then ask for advice, they say, teach me how to do it, I don’t understand yourself! A sense of self-importance, success, awareness of oneself as a “leader” will perfectly motivate the child to study further.
Should I scold?
Wise parents scold their children like this: “How could such a smart and talented boy get a deuce? This is probably a misunderstanding.”
It turns out that the child was scolded, but not humiliated. Yes, they scolded him, while noting his positive qualities. And then you want to conform, the child himself thinks: “What is it, I can do better, I am capable!”
Always try to maintain the child’s confidence in his own abilities, that he can do anything, even if he is guilty. It is pointless to tell him that he is so-and-so. He will be what you think he is. Instill confidence – he will boldly move forward, say “weakling” and “ignoramus” – and you will get this result.
And, contrary to the advice of many parents, you should not punish the child. Usually, the first reaction to punishment will be anger, and not a desire to correct grades. Try other ways – through respect, support, your interest, personal example again. According to psychologists, it is more effective to “appeal to conscience” than to put in a corner. Go from the opposite. When a child makes a mistake or gets a deuce, they still talk to him politely, cook his favorite dish and do not scare him with punishment. Sooner or later, he will think that somehow it turns out ugly…
Both adults and children should look for opportunities for dialogue and solutions to the problem. “Don’t you understand the subject? Me too. Let’s think about who can help us.” Surely one of your friends understands the issue, so call them!
Teach your child to look for a way out of any situation, this will be the best motivation to study. To know that everything can be overcome if you want to. And so that difficulties do not upset, but only excite.
